Okay, I honestly don't know how to begin this, so I guess I'll just start. This is my first blog entry, so I guess you can say I'm losing my virginity in terms of blogging. I'm not writing this for anyone in particular. I'm writing this to vent out my frustrations.
I've been told many times that I'm mean, but it wasn't until this weekend that it actually held some weight in my mind. Maybe I am mean, but I don't mean to be. I just have a low threshold for ignorance and lying which segues me to a person who embodies both of these characteristics, my cousin.
He is one of the people who constantly calls me mean. I guess he has a point though, because it is him I'm meanest too-- for good reason though. He is unreliable. I can't depend on him for anything and it's getting to the point where I can't talk to him without retorting a snarky remark. It shouldn't be this way, but I was never a person to let go of grudges and maybe that's my problem. I hold on to "petty" (not my word, my cousin's) things too long and, I hold it in until I explode with anger or it seeps out in waves of sarcasm.
With all that being said, I guess I managed to succeed my first step into becoming a better person: acknowledging I have a problem. I don't want to be this way forever, but I don't know how to move forward either. Can someone really change?
